i couldn't get over how weak my mom became after she had her hysterectomy. prior to this, my mom has had 2 other major surgeries in a span of 5 years, and she has always managed to bounce back in a matter of days. this time around, she looked exceptionally frail. it's as if taking out her uterus and ovaries also meant taking away her life spirit. the mom i would be seeing for the next few weeks would be a mere shadow of the compact and dynamic woman i've known since i was a kid.
it would take her weeks before she could speak without running out of breath, or go out of the house without feeling frail. until then, each day was daily frustration day for her. we could see her frustration in not being able to do the things which used to be so effortless for her. we tried boosting her spirits, but there was only so much we could do. my mom and i are alike in the sense that we can't keep still in one place, and we always need to have something to do, so being confined in one place with limited things to do would really drive her crazy.
crazier than my mom's condition was how relatives and friends were reacting to it. except for us her immediate family, everyone had their own two cents' worth on how to fight cancer. almost all are advising my mom to skip chemotherapy, and instead, to simply immerse herself in alternative medicine. the problem with alternative medicine is that there are too many disciplines for one person to deal with, and these well-meaning friends and relatives couldn't agree on which discipline or ingredient would be the most effective for ovarian cancer. it would have been much easier if they were just giving dissenting opinions. but no, all of them had the notion that only their advice matters and as such, would be the only one (or ones) that would work compared to others. eat lots of pureed asparagus. eat lots of malunggay. eat lots of ashitaba leaves, because these are more effective than malunggay. drink lots of wheatgrass juice. just stick with eating and drinking guyabano--this is the miracle fruit. one uncle, on hearing that his "prescription" was not being strictly followed, berated me and asked me sarcastically if i wanted my mom to die. the urge to be downright disrespectful was so strong that i had to pinch myself really hard just so i can stop myself from saying something unforgivably rude.
on an uncle's and a friend's suggestion, we had also consulted with two "specialists" who claimed that they could inhibit the growth of cancer cells without chemotherapy using their "special" vitamins. but specialist vitamins, just like regular medicine for serious medical conditions, don't come cheap. after two weeks if imbibing these vitamins, my mom decided to stop taking them for the simple reason that she couldn't feel herself getting any better. i guess she felt that cancer is something she could cure away with lots of water and vitamins, something similar to suffering through an ordinary headache or the flu.
to make things worse, these people also had to have a say on my mom's diet. don't eat dairy. drink full cream milk. stick with fruits and vegetable ONLY. don't eat meat. eat some meat, but stay away from beef. eat bone marrow. eat butter. eliminate sugar completely. don't eat white rice, eat brown rice. coffee is bad for your health. drink coffee. "confusing" is such an understatement at this point. if we're going to follow all of that, my mom would end up eating everything and nothing.
on the other hand, my mom, in her fervent desire to overcome her cancer really fast, had resorted to listening and trying almost every single thing that came her way. she would eagerly start a new diet or a new vitamin regimen, but as soon as she hears a different advice, she would stop following it and immediately become discouraged. it's no wonder i'm pissed off at these well-meaning people. my dad, sensing my angst, told me that these people just wanted my mom to get better. i get that part, but nevertheless, their well-meaning intentions are doing nothing but aggravate my mom's roller-coaster condition.
for all the trouble, i couldn't help but wish that my mom could just have stuck with her oncologist's straightforward advice of going through with chemotherapy. no diet restrictions, no countless dietary supplements. chemotherapy might or might not raise her chances against cancer, but her alternative meds can't guarantee her better chances as well.
my point is: there's no sure way of fighting cancer, and my mom might as well gamble big time in a way that is "comfortable" for her.
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